How to kill someone with an iPod Nano [Sat Jul 1, 08:51PM]
An Ex-marine has thought of 8 ways to use your iPod Nano as a deadly weapon. This might come in handy when you're caught on your own with nothing else then Apple's music player.
1. Break it in half with your hands (very easy to do) and use the glass viewing screen’s broken edge as a razorblade to slice the jugular when they are looking the other way.
2. Take off one sock (a dress or tube sock; pantyhose will work in a pinch), place the Nano in the sock, swing it around as fast as you can (being careful to not hit yourself), and whack the intended target right on the temple .
3. Take the reflective shiny part and catch the sun’s ray and shine it in a vehicle driver’s eyes, or if you are at a rock concert and the lead singer is prancing around on a center stage that protrudes into the audience like a phallus, you can use the same technique.
4. The cord on the earbud headphones can be used to strangle someone. A knee in the back can give extra leverage.
5. Dig a pit about 5 feet deep, then take about 15 3-foot-long stakes 2 inches in diameter and sharpen one end to a fine point, like a very sharp pencil. Jam the sticks at least a foot into the ground, with the sharp ends pointing up. Cover the hole with pine boughs, grass, and leaves. Treat the Nano like a slice of cheese pizza in a deep, hot oven and place it gently in the middle.
6. Carefully unstaple a tea bag and pour the contents on a plate. Break into the lithium-ion battery pack and saturate the tea with the battery’s poison, then dry the tea in the sun (or with a hair dryer if you are in a hurry). Put tea back in tea bag and bend the staple back to its original position. Put the tea bag back where you got it.
7. Download to the Nano “We’ve Only Just Begun” by the Carpenters. Tell someone you will give him or her your Nano if they listen to that song a hundred times in a row.
8. Hide the Nano in a bowl of lutefisk, then take it to the annual Norsefest Lutefisk Eating Competition in Madison, Minnesota.
Of course, MobileCowboys doesn't accept any responsability for any harm you do to yourself or others with these 'guidelines'.
Source:
McSweeney's via
Gizmodo
jim hallaway <sea_monkey101 at hotmail dot com>
i used step number 2 on my ex
dumped her in the rock river
thanks man
Tue Oct 23, 09:59PM
Duran <zim_00x at hotmail dot com>
#5 was the BEST one its so true
you can get someone to fall
into the pit with an iPod
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